Retiring Young While Raising Adults: Our Unconventional Timeline

How We Got Here

My husband and I met in our early thirties. Both of us had established careers—me in government, him teaching grade school. We married when I was in my mid thirties, blending families with his daughter who was seven at the time.

We wanted children together, so we were in a bit of a rush. I had my first daughter a year after we married and our second 2 years later. My husband was late 30’s and early 40’s when our kids were born. This is somewhat older than most first-time fathers in the delivery room, but not unusually so these days.

What we didn't think much about then was the math. Starting a family later meant we'd be in our mid-fifties when our youngest graduated high school which corresponded almost exactly with our early retirement dates. We’d been counting down the years until retirement, so when the time finally came, we were ready. Or at least, we thought we were.

I retired at 55. My husband retired at 58. We both have excellent government pensions and financial security most people our age would envy. When we retired, we had a child finishing high school and one in her second year of university, and my husband's daughter from his first marriage navigating her late twenties and early career.

Our story doesn't quite fit the traditional timeline but then again, whose does? We're one of those couples whose messy, wonderful life simply doesn't follow the expected sequence. This isn't a blueprint or advice, just the real experience of navigating a life stage that refuses to be categorized neatly.

The Financial Blessing We Don't Take for Granted

Two public sector pensions mean we have stable, reliable income for life. People have commented that we're lucky to have two pensions. I acknowledge we are fortunate. But here's something often overlooked: we paid for those pensions with reduced salaries for many years. Every paycheque throughout our careers had pension contributions deducted. We earned less take-home pay than private sector counterparts in exchange for future security. It was a trade-off, not a windfall.

We saved for our kids’ education during our working lives. Our kids' education is partially funded through RESPs and our ongoing support as well as any part time jobs they had.

This financial security allows us to retire early without panic. We're not choosing between our retirement and our kids' education. We can do both.

I know how rare this is. I know many women our age are still working because they must, not because they want to. I know the pension plans we benefited from are increasingly uncommon.

We didn't earn this entirely through hard work—we also benefited from timing, stable employment sectors, and luck. I won't pretend otherwise.

But here's what's interesting: even with financial security, the emotional navigation of this life stage is complex.

Identity Beyond Work and Parenting

For decades, my identity was wrapped up in two primary roles: my career and motherhood. Both consumed most of my time, energy, and mental space.

Now, with my career ended and my children increasingly independent, I've had to answer a question I'd been too busy to ask: Who am I beyond these roles?

I've always been the one with the schedule, the obligations, the important meetings. Suddenly having unstructured time felt like a gift I didn't quite know how to unwrap.

Within four months, I found myself restless. I accepted a six-month contract with a bank, then later a two-year government management role. Now, facing the end of that contract, I'm discovering that retirement isn't about stopping—it's about choosing differently. I still feel I have something valuable to contribute, but it’s a completely different mindset when you work post retirement.

What We're Learning

Retirement is not one moment: it's an evolving phase. The truth is, we didn't arrive at retirement and simply settle in. It's been a constantly shifting landscape. Our early retirement looks nothing like it will in five years when all the kids are fully independent—or at least, we hope they will be. We're learning to hold our expectations loosely and adapt as this phase unfolds.

Financial security doesn't eliminate emotional complexity. Having two pensions solved our money problems. We can pay our bills, help our kids, and live comfortably without panic. But it didn't automatically hand us purpose, identity, or fulfillment. We still had to figure out who we were beyond our careers and active parenting. Money bought us options; what we chose to do with those options required deeper work.

Flexibility is more valuable than rigid plans. We walked into retirement imagining complete freedom—spontaneous trips, lazy mornings, life on our terms. Instead, I discovered I wasn't ready to stop working entirely. Within months, I was back at it—first a contract, then another. My husband has fully embraced retirement in a way I haven't been able to yet. But here's what we've both gained: flexibility without desperation. We're there when our daughters needs help with a college decision, when our stepdaughter calls navigating a major life decision. We can say yes to what matters because our pensions mean we're not trapped by paychecks. Relationships require time and attention, and the security we built gives us the freedom to be truly present—even if my version of retirement looks nothing like the postcard.

There's no "right" timeline. Our path—late parenthood, early retirement, kids still at home—doesn't follow the traditional sequence. Friends our age have grown children and grandchildren. Some are still climbing career ladders. We're somewhere in between. This unconventional timeline is teaching us things we never would have learned on a more traditional path.

Advice We'd Give Our Younger Selves

If I could go back to our thirties, would I do anything differently? Maybe. Maybe not.

Would I have children earlier? Perhaps. But then they wouldn't be these children, the ones I can't imagine life without.

Would I plan retirement differently? I honestly don't know. We made the best decisions we could with the information we had.

What I would tell younger us: Save aggressively. The financial security makes everything else possible. Take the long view on career planning. I believe that pensions and benefits matter enormously. It doesn’t matter if you have a pension plan or self fund your retirement. Stay physically healthy. Retirement is better when you feel good. Don't compare your timeline to others - there are many ways to build a life.

Looking Forward

In a few years, our youngest will graduate college, and our oldest will complete her second degree. The house will quiet. Our days will be... well, I'm not entirely sure yet.

I thought I knew what retirement looked like when I first left my career at 55. Freedom. Time. Choice. And for a while, I had all three. Now, as my contract ends, I'm facing a questions I didn't expect: Will I retire or extend my contract? What does retirement actually mean when you still want to work?

Here's what I'm learning: maybe retirement isn't about stopping. Maybe it's about choosing differently. This may mean working when it fulfills you, saying no when it doesn't, and accepting that the path forward doesn't have to look like anyone else's version.

Right now, I'm still working. The "freedom" I imagined feels more theoretical than real. But I'm also not trapped. I have pensions that mean I can walk away whenever I'm ready. That safety net changes everything, even if I'm not using it yet.